egberts:

who looks at an infant and thinks “lets name her gertrude”

  • mum: can you-
  • me: *groans for 17 hours*
  • Britain: Excuse Me
  • Netherlands: Excuseer me
  • Mexico: Perdon
  • Italy: Permesso
  • France: Pardon
  • Canada: Sorry
  • America: Get the fuck out of my way douchedick
  • Australia: Move cunt or I'll run you down with my kangaroo

It amazes me that I can accurately type at top speed without looking at my keyboard but still pour water down my shirt ‘cause I missed my mouth in general.

(Source: spatialsoloist)


I had a dream today.


Then I forgot it. But it was really cool. I feel like a dick posting this now. Sigh.
Anyway, this is the one I had after my really cool one:
If you knew me you’d know I always have apocalyptic dreams a lot, but none of you know that (shout out to all 28 of you, you slimy bastards I love you) and the one person who follows us who does know me (Livery), cool I guess.
ANYWAY, in this dream, nothing was story like, everything was chopped fragments of memories or faces or landscape, everything practically demolished. I believe we’ve been near apocalyptic situations before on our planet; where the butterfly effect could prove with only a slight change in events: world destruction. I’m not going to name any of these times because this post is about my dream and not your fucking world history class. I got a B in there.
The main piece of information I remember in my dream was that greyscale had taken on the entire world. No more people = no more artificial colors. And what about natural colors like sky blue and green grass you ask? Burnt. All of it ash and hot coals of smoldered nothingness. Oceans and bodies of water were dry crevasses in the earths crust, no amounts of moisture could even survive in the flame engulfed earth. Everything was turned to ash, and soot, and no life existed. No life could exist there. No trace of life could be found there. So what happens when the blue planet turns into the grey planet? I dunno because I woke up after that